Monica Venegas: Personal Freedom Through Emotional Independence

Monica Venegas is a visionary pioneer in the Emotional Independence movement — a program that helps others build personal power that creates independence, creativity and professional/personal growth. Using her discoveries, Monica has created a provocative systematic approach that clears away internal barriers for healthy and authentic relationships. She helps others unleash their confidence and build unstoppable lives both at work and at home. She creates Emotional Victories for others who can then inspire their communities to do greater things, to be better people for their families and in their jobs.

Self-made business builder. By building two very successful businesses, Monica learned why some people are “unstoppable” and others are plagued with one obstacle after another.
As an independent representative at a Network Marketing Company in Mexico, she built an organization of over 3,000 representatives within less than a year. She also became a main speaker and leadership trainer.
She has worked with some of the most prestigious market leaders in Mexico such as: ITESM, Semex Alliance Mexico, Tendenza Jewerly Group, Triples Shoe Factory and many more.
Her popular public workshops are well attended by representatives of companies such as Mary Kay, Textiles Leon, DIF Silao, Radiorama among others
She has been interviewed several times at Con Sello de Mujer national TV show at TV Azteca and at several national radio shows. She's been also interviewed by Tere Bermea, one of the most recognized journalists in Mexico.
She is also an international Emotional Intelligence Certified trainer by Talentsmart and a Certified Humanistic Facilitator by IHPG.

My findings on Emotional Independence started when I was a teenager. Like most children I didn’t always agree with my parents. One day, my father and I had a strong disagreement and I decided I wanted to be independent. So I started a French school at home. That moment was a turning point in my life. For the first time I’ve experienced Emotional Independence and I wanted to feel that freedom again and again. In 1995, I was hired by Gomsa (one of the most prominent Customs Borker Agencies in Mexico) to build a client base in a new territory. Without current contact or support, I laid down the ground and built an important client network which included most of the prominent companies in the region such as Bachoco, Flexi Group, Textiles León Group, Polímeros y Derivados, Berentsen Seeds, Zahonero Group, TFL Mexico, Trumpler Mexico among others . Almost seven years later, I left the company to follow my dream of independence and became an independent re presentative at a Network Marketing Company building an organization of 3,500 representatives within less than a year.

After those experiences working and helping so many people, I’ve finally learned that unfortunately, most of us learn to be dependants. And that these dependencies keep us stuck to situations or people affecting us in a negative way in our growth path. I also learned that Emotional Independence is the key to becoming “unstoppable”. Now I want to be an advocate and dedicate my work to helping others create the experiences that I had so they can unleash their confidence and become Emotionally Independent both at home and at work.

2. It looks that you had to start from zero several times and succeeded. How did you find success in so many different places?

You always need to be in a position of power. Not as the way you might think. My position of power has always been my Emotional Independence. Since I was a kid, I’ve learned to detach from so many things every time and it wasn’t easy. But I had two choices: to lie on my comfort zone or take a risk and go for broke for what I believed. At the end, the journey was all worth the effort. As Napoleon Hill said: “Start where you are and work with whatever tools you may have on your command. Better tools will be found as you go along."

3. What was the hardest thing for you to do during your “journey” towards Emotional Independence?

Certainly one of the hardest things for me to do was being coachable. In the way, I’ve found so many great people that wanted to help me, but believe me, setting aside negative ego to learn from other people is not always easy. Again, letting go, detaching from my old habits and trusting advice that doesn’t seemed doable was one of he hardest things to do, yet one of the most rewarding.

4. So, how did you get into speaking and working with organizations? I’ve always liked to express myself: singing, acting, teaching, etc. But it wasn’t until joining the Network Marketing Company where I had my first formal chance. I was invited to be MC of our events and later on I became a secondary speaker. People would like my presentations and my message so much that they kept on asking me to become main speaker. I’ve worked hard in preparing myself and sooner than later I became one of the main speakers and leadership trainers.

In those networking days I’ve also spent a lot of time developing people, giving them feedback and coaching them towards their success. This is why I was able to build an organization of 3,500 representatives. I became intimately involved in human performance and in productivity. Building this 3,500 reps organization taught me how organizations and people really worked together. All this from the perspective of being a leader.

So I saw there a great opportunity to help my people keep growing. I’ve found speaking and working with organizations to be the best way for me to reach and help more people so I decided to formally help others and here I am now.

5. Based on your previous experience in building businesses from scratch, what is the biggest lesson you give to organizations you work with?

After having worked with so many people I’ve learned that some people got stuck in the middle of the way. I’ve also realized that helping them get over that specific “stuck” point in their lives was crucial for them so they could go to the next level and become unstoppable. I then realized that people tended to move faster when they experienced what I call: Next!Moments©.

Let me explain: There are times in our lives when we strongly know that our current situation is no longer acceptable. This visceral reaction to any event is a Next!Moment©. This emotional state of mind alerts your heart and your head. They both agree that you have reached your limit with the status quo and you experience the urgency to act immediately towards a positive change in your life.

Today, I want to help others do the same, get over obstacles and become unstoppable. This has become a mission to me.

I help clients see and navigate the Next!Moment© that pops up in their lives. I believe that we usually go into situations that help us grow but we don’t see them and when we do see them we don’t want to act.

Those Next!Moments© create Emotional Victories©, triumphs that give us the foundation for Emotional Independence. When we have enough Emotional Victories© we become more confidents, our self-esteem magnifies and that experience drives us towards Emotional Independence. And when you reach that Emotional Independent mindset, you create the ability to generate endless options and to act in ways that serve to the greater good of everyone involved.

7. Why is so important for the organization to become Emotionally Independent? Isn’t this a personal decision?

First, Emotional Independence can drive effective Change Management. Decision making is not always easy and it is even less standing from an emotional dependent platform from where almost all mistaken decisions take place. So Emotional Independent Decision Makers move forward faster in companies and go to the next level helping the organization step further ahead and beyond competitors.

Second, Individual Performance drives Team Mindset and Team Performance. When important changes become a must then, the organization needs to count on Emotionally Independent Leaders and Teams. Most of failed programs on change are not a result of people not knowing what to do. Most of failed programs on change are a result of emotional dependent people not knowing how to let go old habits leaving people stuck to the past. This threatens the organization resources and performance in face of aggressive competitors. So, when leaders or employees are too emotional dependents on the past you’ve got to help them how to let go.

8. What happens when people are Emotionally Independent? How does their life change? What happens to those people around them?

Unfortunately since childhood, almost all of us have learned to trap ourselves in situations that seem permanent but really aren’t. We stop seeing possibilities that we have in front of us and we see no way out. Then, a lot of us find ourselves repeating the same negative habits again and again. For example, we keep on dating or even recruiting the wrong people hurting ourselves or our companies and the worst thing is when we think we deserve that.

On the other hand, Emotional Independent people know that no situation is permanent, they move forward with self assurance and power every time they need to do it. Why? Because Emotional Independence is a state of mind that comes from the accumulation of empowering experiences. It is the heart-felt “in our bones” conviction that we are worthy of everything we want. And this strong belief creates the ability to generate endless options and to act in ways that serve to the greater good of everyone involved. Emotional Independence is a lifestyle.

Of course, not everybody will want you to be Emotionally Independent. At least not at the beginning. They’re too dependant to the “old” you and even some of those around you, (family, friends, coworkers, employees) could try to manipulate you to recover you back. But eventually, they will too start seeing benefits for themselves and surprisingly some of them will start working on Emotional Independence too. And you, as an Emotionally Independent individual won’t be judgmental with those around you that don’t want to change, you might move forward but you’ll be compassionate about other people’s dependencies because those are not easy at all to eradicate.

9. If dependency is so negative, why do so many people do it? Why do so many people stay dependant?

Well, for every destructive behavior, there’s a payoff or we wouldn’t do it. For example, why do we weigh more than we should? Because it feels so good to eat, I convince myself I need to eat more. Food is “love”. And feeling loved makes me feel secure; therefore I manipulate (myself and others) and let others manipulate me in order to feel that way. I compromise myself and my personal values for a false reality that is too fragile and emotionally expensive to maintain.

Eventually, this false sensation of safety, satisfaction and love makes us dependants to it and stops us even before we pursue any specific goal both at home and at work. That’s why Emotional Independence plays such an important role in our lives and in our organizations. And there’s where I do my best work!

Definitely when I do what I love. I enjoy being with my family, traveling with my two daughters is one of my favorite things to do. My two daughters share with me my biggest passion: Music. Music transports me through an imaginary world and from there I create, I transform things. Creating makes me feel free, independent, alive.

I also enjoy doing some other things. Learning languages has provided me with greater insights of other people’s social, cultural and personal values, as well as their beliefs and ideas. And just as languages, research has transformed my life. It is an essential part of my personal pursuit of self knowledge and understanding towards other human beings thoughts and behaviors.

I call myself an addicted to life. To me, life’s most precious gift to us is freedom. Everywhere you look at there’s freedom, freedom of choice, freedom of living to your best and I want to give back life a tribute with my work and my personal life.